It gets to a point sometimes where you have to ask yourself, do I want to continue to live like this? Do I want to continue to drown in my misery, wallow in self pity and alienate myself from the world? The answer isnt always easy.
Some days its easier to just lay in bed and throw a pity party for yourself, just cry and pretend that you are the only person who has ever experienced the pain of loosing a child. I also find these days can keep you sane. Much better than holding in all the emotions and pain until it gets to a point where you cant lock it down anymore. However, its when these days become weeks, months, or even just frequently, that they start to control you, and interfere with how you live your life. This is when you really have to ask those questions.
I chose to live my life, be happy and enjoy what I have. I am so incredibly blessed to have a wonderfully supportive husband, who loves me even on those days Im crying in bed, I have an extremely understanding family who I can always turn to for help, and most of all, I have a beautiful, happy, healthy, simply gorgeous baby boy Logan.
Yes it is intensely sad that I have lost a daughter, yes I have days where I do nothing but think of the pain that her death caused, but I have so many other things in my life that make me smile, and make me want to enjoy every second I have.
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