wife, mum, cook, cleaner, Charlotte?

So I am currently on a quest to 'find myself'. Becoming a mum has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life, yet it has also been the hardest. On my road to becoming a mum I have lost a child, gone through PND, as well as the usual morning sickness, sleepless nights and so on.

My days consist of feeding Logan, playing with him, changing nappy's, wiping his nose, as well as cleaning the house and getting dinner prepared. Some days all of this goes on, and some I only have time to do the first few because Logan is having a bad day. And now, after 8 and a half months of doing this I have hit a wall, asking myself, where has Charlotte gone?

A few people have asked if going back to work 1 or 2 days a week might help, and the answer is simple, nope. Work for me wasn't a part of who I was, it was just a way of getting money. We are comfortable enough for me to stay home, which however hard it may seem to believe right now, I love. I think going back to work will give me one more thing taking up what should be 'Charlotte' time.

A small step in the right direction was taken yesterday, I went to Borders and bought the last book of the Vampire Academy series, now I have the set. However I haven't even begun to read the first book. I'm currently on the last book of a different series, I'm up to chapter 2, and have been for a few months now. I used to love reading so much, losing myself in a book, loving characters, hating characters, reading just one more chapter because I just HAD to know what happened next.

But when I came out of the bookshop I thought to myself "You're an idiot Charlotte, you're never going to have time to read these bloody books, what a waste of money, you should have bought Logan something". Then it hit me, why didn't I have time to read my books? Because I put everything else first. So I have decided that AT LEAST one day a week I am going to sit down, by myself, and read.

This decision, for now, has made me feel 100 times better. I feel I am finally on my way to claiming back Charlotte.