It all started so well

Everything in the beginning was so good, yes Mike and I had our meltdowns every so often, but we were adjusting to a new life, and new routine, no sleep, crying baby, less "us" time, but we were doing well. We were enjoying our new life, we were enjoying being parents, and enjoying watching one another being parents.

I had issues with breast feeding early on, in the hospital Logan lost slightly more weight than what was appropriate, but the midwives were all happy with how I was feeding him, and thought if we got hi tongue snipped (he was born with a tongue tie), then he could attach easier, so when he was about 6 days old, we got it snipped. It didnt do anything, and the feeding issues got worse, he would attach and pull off, the attach again, then pull off again, it was starting to cause me heaps of pain. If I did eventually get him to attach and stay attached he would eat for a bit, then fall asleep, his weight kept dropping, not by huge amounts, but enough to have me worrying.

I went to breast feeding clinic when he was 8 days old, I was put on a plan of limiting breast feeding to 20 mins, then top up with a bottle, and express afterwards. This was exhausting!! By the time we went back to the breast feeding clinic I had given up on the expressing, and my milk supply had been dropping heavily. HOWEVER Logan finally had a good weight gain, and was taking to being bottle fed quite well. The midwives gave me a prescription for something to boost my milk supply, but my mind was made up, Logan liked the bottle, and he did well on the bottle, so thats what he was going to have. I gave it 2 weeks of trying to get him to stay on the breast, but I just wanted my son to be healthy and happy, and if formula was going to do that for him, then formula it was!

Id have my good days and my bad days. Sometimes I would feel like I had everything under control, other times I would feel like I was the biggest disappointment to motherhood there could be. But even on those bad days I would look at Logan and all those bad feelings would just melt away, he was so worth the sleep deprivation.